And, yes, I’m talking about that terrible dry skin on the bottom of your feet. The kind of dry skin you’ve seen on your older aunts during the summer that had you vowing to never let yourself go like that. Forgot about that vow, didn’t you? And now you’ve disappointed your past self by turning into what you’ve always feared. You’re one of THEM now, and I hope you’re proud of yourself.
I like to start these things out by knocking down the reader so they can later realize that there really is a solution to the problem they didn’t realize they had, so perk up! This is one of those times.